The Start

Several years ago, I knew it had ended.  What I think of as the official date of the end of my marriage was Sept. 13th, 2010.  In reality it had ended much earlier.  I spoke with a friend who had recently gone through a divorce, he said give yourself a year.  You will need at least a year to start to feel "normal" again.

Normal?  Normal?  I do feel normal I thought - this is it, the beginning of life 2.0.  An incredibly hard decision has just been made, I am ready to feel normal now.  I thought I was fine - I wasn't.

I'll fill you in on the bits and pieces in the coming entries, but what this blog is, is my story.  Recently, I have been asked by friends and by acquaintances to share the story of the end of my marriage, how I transitioned to single co-parenting my now almost 4 and 6 year old.  They want to know because they know their lives aren't full, aren't neat and tidy - they want to know what the straw was the broke the camel's back.  I'm learning that sharing my story with others is helping me to frame it for myself.  I know that no matter how long and hard the days and the nights - did I mention the nights?!? - are (nothing like children who want to sleep with you every.night.all.night.long.smushing you in the process) - I am happier and more at peace with myself now than I have ever been before.

So, I begin - read, message me, comment, I'd love to engage with you.  Together through the sharing of our stories we may all find insight, healing and humor - please god, humor and lots and lots of it!!  I will also be using this blog as an incentive and measure of accountability for me.  The word "Whole" in the title is a double entendre (did you know that I was going to use such fancy words and be so clever right off the bat, you're hooked, right??) - I have just signed up for Weight Watchers to address a lifelong need of being free of excess weight and freer to enjoy all things to the fullest without worrying about how I look, how I feel - or more accurately how my back will feel after I hike up a mountain, as my children are now independently mobile, well mostly - I want to enjoy their activities with them, not just from the sidelines - this is a powerfully motivating force.  So back to the entendre - I don't eat artificial, chemical filled, colored and polysyllabic ingredient filled food.  This has always been a barrier to the "dieting" world.  Yes, I briefly tried the no carbs, not realistic, South Beach fad - fainted.  Slimfast years ago - fainted.  And I am sure others - probably fainted then too.  I don't eat nuts - huge problem on low carb diets - don't love lots of heavy meats - problem with high fat diets.  The aforementioned (another of those fancy words you'll be seeing a great deal of), constraints make "non-fat", "low-fat", diet food next to impossible for me.  This past summer we joined a CSA and have been working at eating more local and organic foods - but am I ever finicky - so.......

The "whole" refers to the recipes I'll be sharing.  I plan to embark on this Weight Watchers adventure eating full-fat foods (in moderation), enjoying yummy creations (in moderation) and uncovering the secret foods that have been unknowingly sabotaging me (homemade waffles, apparently - traitors).  I do almost all of my cooking from scratch - invent some of my own recipes and use a few trusty cookbooks as well as the worldwide web - so stay tuned recipes should follow with most, if not every entry.  I'll include the points value and portion size too, so in case you are also on this crazy journey with me, in more ways than one - you can cook along too.

Keep me inspired, keep me accountable and please share your thoughts - should be fun to see where this goes!

Later today - Butternut Squash Ginger Soup.

My thanks,
S.